The Ann Richards School for Young Women Leaders

The Polaris Mess presents: Rolling into disaster, a satirical look at an epidemic of obnoxious backpacks taking over Ann Richards hallways

in ARS News/Entertainment/News/Satire by

As you walk through the rushing Ann Richards hallways to get to class, you may get stuck behind or possibly be tripped by a rolly backpack. As a middle schooler, or maybe even a rare high schooler, you may rely on one to carry your heavy materials for class. Those that suffer from owning a rolly backpack struggle to lift them up the stairs every day.

The dispute of these treacherous bags has been long lasting… The oldest sisters at our school cannot recall a time when they were accepted by students in the hallways.

“I hate them,” Emily Garza (10) said. “I hate them. That’s it. Like I honestly hate them so much. Its cool, its a great idea – shout out to whoever made those, it’s convenient – but it is the worst thing ever.”

Garza does not have a specific traumatizing experience or a personal attachment to her hatred… She just really hates rolly backpacks.

“I have been tripped so many times, and people are running with them, and it’s so dangerous, and whenever they run over your toes… it’s not fun,” Garza said. “Or whenever people are on the stairs and they take eighty minutes just to get down the stairs- It makes me so mad.”

Legend has it that the majority of Ann Richards students would rather have rolly backpacks banned from the hallways than have no uniforms.

“I understand why it’s convenient,” Garza said, “But like… it’s not.”

However, some owners of rolly backpacks offer a counter point of view. In elementary school, Hannah Olson’s (6) father finally bought her a rolly backpack after much negotiation, because Olson’s supplies were too heavy to carry each day. The tables turn as Olson reveals who is really being tripped in the hallways.

“Most people trip me!” Olson said in an exclusive interview. “I’m the one getting tripped with my backpack!”

Another young defender of these backpacks, Claire Moore (6), had just bought her rolly backpack the night before an interview with the Polaris Mess.

“There is a fact – it’s a scientific truth – that if your backpack weighs more than 12 pounds, it will start giving you scoliosis,” Moore said.

Readers: If you are on the fence about who to side with in this ongoing dispute, Keji Jurkin (8) offers an on-the-inbetween perspective on the issue.

“I see why you would use them – because it’s easier to roll around – but you can trip a lot of people,” Jurkin said. “I think you should be more cautious… In the five minute passing period you have to be really careful. I think one time in sixth grade I got tripped – luckily I didn’t fall.”

With all of this nonsense, would it not be easier for everyone to just own a normal backpack? Ah yes, but there remains the threat of scoliosis. Garza offers advice to those who are fearful of the wrath of back problems.

“If you’re going to have a rolly backpack, use it wisely,” Garza said. “Be aware of your surroundings, make sure you don’t roll over people’s feet – and if you do roll over people’s feet, or you hit them, apologize.”

Alejandra, also known as Ally Wait, is the sports, satire, and our voices editor of the Polaris Press. You will often find her badly budgeting, procrastinating, playing soccer, and making other people laugh. She laughs for about 8-9 hours a week and prefers eating with spoons and bowls. Spoons and bowls are the way to win this friendly senior’s heart.

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